Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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