How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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