no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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