I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
