The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
