I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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