you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
