Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
