How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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