Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
