I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
