i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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