We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
