Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
