It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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