Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
