people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
