I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
