Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
