yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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