He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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