i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
