Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
