some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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