If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
