Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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