That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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