What did we do last night that was yellow?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
