He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
