Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
