How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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