I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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