meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
