im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
