But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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