Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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