Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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