Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
