do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
