R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
