So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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