All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize