Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
