I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
