So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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