Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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