I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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