Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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