so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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