I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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