Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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