I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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