also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
